Today’s quote comes from the Dalai Lama, a man committed to empowering himself and others to let go of emotions that disturb happiness …
“As human beings we all want to be happy and free from misery
… we have learned that the key to happiness is inner peace.
The greatest obstacles to inner peace are disturbing emotions
such as anger, attachment, fear and suspicion,
while love and compassion and a sense of universal responsibility
are the sources of peace and happiness.”
Take a moment to consider where are you experiencing emotional disturbances. Where are they creating obstacles in your life?
I encourage you to use the Dali Lama’s wise words to inspire your next step towards removing these obstacles, so you can live a happier life.
I’m sure that you too have experienced times of indecision. Times where you’ve struggled to make a decision, whether that’s small things or big things. You may even be experiencing that somewhere in your life now. For example, should I look for another job or should I stay put? Should I have a baby or not? Should I spend my money on buying a property or not?
You’re not alone. Even great leaders, who are generally not rash or foolhardy, can experience indecision. On most days they know their mind and have the confidence to act on it. However even they experience times where they waver between two or more possible courses of action. When this happens, they too can freeze and start asking others what they should do.
What The Best Leaders and Achievers Do
The best leaders and achievers have an ability to get to the fundamental cause of their mental roadblock, and breakthrough it. That’s what you need to do too to achieve your important goals and dreams.
Your indecision may be a sign that the choice really matters to you. It might also be a warning that you’re about to make the wrong decision. Either way it gives you valuable time to gather more information, weigh up the facts and think about the situation.
However If you indecisive for too long, you may miss an opportunity. It can also cause you to loose confidence in yourself further, compounding the problem further.
5 Causes of Indecision
There are a variety of causes for why people become indecisive. Here are five of them:
- Out of practice — where you haven’t been making many bigger decisions in your life.
- Too many options can flood a person – overwhelm of your possible choices
- Fear of making the wrong decision – concern that you will make a mistake or fail
- Cognitive dissonance– conflict between their desires and those of the hand that fed/feeds them can lessen and cut them off from their desire
- Lacking confidence – Self doubt in your ability causing second guessing
6 Ways To Overcome Indecision:
Whether your indecision is around a particular goal or has become a general habit, know that you can reduce your indecision with practice. Take a few minutes to read the list below for ways you can improve your decision making.
- Look at the big picture. Consider the importance of the decision in the longer term. As you enter old age what would you regret most? To read about the Top 5 Regrets of the Dying, read my blog article:
- Identify the fear of consequences. Ask yourself what’s the worst that could happen. Then, contemplate how you would address it if it happened. By figuring out concrete ways to deal with it if it came true, you can remove a lot of its power and control over your decision-making
- Accept the limits of analysis. Don’t paralyse yourself with analysis. There comes a time when no matter how much logical thinking you do, or information you have, the decision isn’t going to get any easier. Give yourself a time limit on your research, list-making and pondering.
- Tune into your emotions. Trust your gut. Ask yourself: “Which option feels more ‘right’ for you?”
- Break the decision down into smaller pieces. Sometimes big decisions can become overwhelming. If that’s the case, practice making decisions on smaller pieces that are part of the bigger process
- Eliminate should’s. Nothing leads to indecision faster than letting your actions be guided by the desire to impress or satisfy – what you think you should do for others. Inevitably that part of you wants something different will cause you to rebel. When you stop worrying about what everyone else will think, the best decision often becomes crystal clear.
Breaking The Hold Of Indecision
Combine the above actions with your own range of strengths as you work on breaking the hold of indecision. Using these will support your decision-making process, helping you make the choices that are right for you. And, assisting you to take the actions required to achieve your important goals.
If indecision has been holding you back in achieving one or more important goals, then it’s time to commit to tackling it. Please be kind to yourself in the process.
To support you in progressing and achieving your most important goals, take action today by implementing today’s tips.
Do you have a favourite tip for overcoming indecision? If so, please share it below.
Today’s wise words on getting caught in a mental trap comes from American Tony Robbins (born 1960). Tony Robbins is an author, entrepreneur, philanthropist and life coach. He has touched many people’s lives – including my own through his health, wealth and peak performance books and seminars. He has also worked with many high profile people on an individual basis including: Bill Clinton, Serena William, Nelson Mandela, Princess Diana and Hugh Jackman. Read more about my story in a moment.
Here’s today’s wise quote from Tony Robbins;
“Often we are caught in a mental trap of seeing enormously successful people and thinking they are where they are because they have some special gift. Yet a closer look shows that the greatest gift that extraordinarily successful people have over the average person is their ability to get themselves to take action.”
– Anthony Robbins.
The Mental Trap
My first experience with Tony Robbins was in about 2002. It was at one of his seminars when I attended his Unleash The Power Within. At this event he coached thousands of ordinary people to walk across hot coals. The purpose of the fire walk is for participants to experience a new level of what’s possible. He has been teaching since 1983.
In order to get people to do the fire walk he had to train them out of the mental traps. Walking through hot goals is something that most people would perceive as life threatening, and would not even attempt. The wrong mindset significantly increases the risk of burning your feet on the hot coals. It also makes people quit and not even doing the activity. The right mindset gets a person thinking and doing the right things to safely cross the hot coals. So Tony had to prepare and train our minds away from mental traps which may prevent success.
It was a powerful lesson. Not everybody did the activity – but it certainly was an amazing experience for those of us that did the activity! It definitely showed what our mind is capable of when we focus our mind and take action (or avoid it). When ordinary people get out of the mental trap they CAN achieve extraordinary things!
Breakthrough The Mental Traps
Whether your goal is to walk across hot coals or achieve some other important goal, it’s essential to break through any mental traps blocking you. By doing so you’ll be better able to focus your mind and take actions. Otherwise you’ll never achieve the goals and results you want to achieve.
For more information on some of the common blocks that you may need to breakthrough to achieve different results, visit my blog “3 Blocks That Sabotage Your Success And What To Do About It” . You’ll learn – 3 ways you may be sabotaging your success, how these block keep you stuck and some exercises you can implement today to get unblocked.
Another way you can breakthrough is by working with a coach who can assist you with identifying where you’re getting stuck, creating a roadmap for breaking through, and supporting you to take the necessary actions to succeed To see how I can help you click here to book a time with me and we’ll go over the options.
Your Biggest Mental Trap
I’d love to hear what your biggest mental trap is. Please share your thoughts below or send me a message
With warm regards
PS Remember -to take at least one action step today to progress your most important goals.
Today’s post is continuing on the theme of habits.
In my last post I spoke about how habits can hold your development back. I shared a story about weaning my son from his habit of dummy sucking, including how it was holding his development back, his struggle and how we stepped him through it. Click here to read my previous post.
Habits are uncomfortable to change, because they lack the familiarity that you’re used to. However you cant always keep doing it the same old way. Sometimes you need to find a new way … especially if you want to achieve goals. .
Changing Circumstances May Require New Habits
Just as Charlie didn’t have a choice about his dummy being removed, you too will face times where your choices have been taken away. You might not get to choose a change in circumstances, but you do have a choice as to how you handle that change in circumstances. When these times appear you can fight or you can embrace the opportunity. You can be a victim or victor. Weak or empowered. At each step you have choices.
Here are some of the basic changes my son went through when his circumstances changed, which meant he no longer had access to the old habit:
- Happily sucking his dummy for comfort
- Resisting a change he didn’t ask for it
- The discomfort and struggle of withdrawing from the old way
- Acting out his anger dissatisfaction, including oscillating between go away and come here
- Adjusting to not having it readily available (yet would willingly take it back in a heartbeat)
- A new normal; developing with residual attachment
How long before the attachment drops away altogether? … That remains to be seen – he still asks for it a few times most days.
Evolving Out of Old Habits
If you want to achieve your goals, then you need to evolve your ways of operating in alignment with your goals.
Just like Charlie, you have habits which help you to feel comfortable. Each one has been adopted at some point in time because the strategy as worked for you – it helped you to operate in a certain way or achieve a certain outcome you wanted. Then you repeated it and repeated it, utilising it routinely and automatically, without thinking.
At various points in your life you will find that your old habits are no longer serving you. For example they may be:
- Outdated – there may be more modern options available
- Having a detrimental effect which can’t be ignored (like my son’s dental bite problem). Or
- Preventing your progress, growth and achievement of new results.
Once you recognise this, have the courage to confront and evolve.
Habits Required for Success
Achieving new goals (or old goals which haven’t yet been achieved) requires you to find new wsays of doing things. You can’t expect to continue all your old habits, addictions and patterns and still expect to get new results.
Instead you’ll need to do things differently. You’ll need to learn new habits – ones which are aligned with your goals. You’ll need to adjust your mindset, emotions and actions. And it will take work to start the process, implement it and make it the new normal.
Changing Habits is Uncomfortable
Habits are comfortable – they have worked for you in the past so it gives you a level of certainty. And, you’ve repeated them off enough that they are automatic.
Change is uncomfortable because it lacks the familiarity your’re used to – your new pattern of action is different and doesn’t just flow automatically. Therefore it can feel unfamiliar, clunky and unnatural. You have to retrain yourself repeatedly until the new way becomes your normal was of operating, automatically.
Failing to get started in the first place, or stopping before it’s an ingrained habit will just reinforce the old habits – and you’ll continue to get the same old results.
Breaking Through Old Habits
You can break through your old habits, addictions and patterns – and you must if you want to progress and achieve your goals and dreams.
3 Important Questions
Here’s 3 important questions to ask your self if your serious about breaking through so you can achieving more success:
- What important goal/s are you’re working on?
- What habits, addictions or patterns are slowing you down or blocking your progress?
- How are you going to change these limiting habits, addictions or patterns?
Breaking Through Old Habits
You can break through your old habits, addictions and patterns by:
- Clarifying the habits of thinking, feeling and actioning which require breakthrough
- Connecting with your motivations for breaking through
- Educating yourself on how to breakthrough
- Implementing the activities required to breakthrough
- Removing conscious and sub-conscious blocks to breaking through
Doing it yourself is one option. This option can be done by very rewarding. However it can also be a very long and arduous journey with a big learning curve, as you navigate all the unknown territory.
Speeding Up The Breakthrough Process
If you are struggling to get the breakthrough you want, or want to speed up the breakthrough process, then work with someone who already has the knowledge, experience and resources to
assist you. You’ll get the support you need to make progress towards your goals. In the long run you can save a lot of time, effort and often money
If you have some important goals to achieve and would like some help to break through your habits, so you can achieve different results, please contact me. I’d love to talk to you about what’s holding you back and how you can get your breakthrough.
Breaking through old habits, addictions and patterns is uncomfortable, however it’s an essential part of achieving your goals
What action step will you take today to improve your habits and advance your goals achievements?
The Ancient God Janis
Did you know that January is named after the Roman God “Janis”?
In ancient Roman religion and myth Janis is the god of the beginning and the ending; gates and transitions; passages and endings. He is usually depicted as having two faces, since he looks to the future and to the past.
Janis presided over the beginning and ending of conflict, and hence war and peace. The doors of his temple were open in time of war, and closed to mark the peace. As a god of transitions, he had functions pertaining to birth and to journeys and exchange.
January – The Transition Into The New Year
The 1st of January represents the ending of one year and the beginning of a new one. It provides a pocket of time to:
- Be grateful
- Reflect and learn from the past,
- Reset our focus on the future.
This transition into the new year makes it a great time to set goals, which is where the culture of new year resolutions comes from.
Resolutions which are made with careful consideration can help reinforce permanent changes. However, most New Years resolutions are made in a heightened or inebriated state, which often lacks a degree of commitment. And, as a result then often never gets started or falls away within a short space of time.
Goals are more outcome focused, giving you attainable milestones and time frames. When they are set in a more conscious and committed way, your goals can keep you motivated. Especially if they’re aligned with your highest values and aspirations. January is a great time to reflect on the outcomes you want for 2018, to write your goals and to start taking action.
2018 Special Goal Setting Program
With the arrival of my son December 2015, it’s been a busy couple of years since I’ve run a Strategic Life Review And Goals Setting Workshop. It was a full day where you had to travel to participate. This year I’ve decided to create a different program, something extra special to assist you in reviewing, goal setting and taking action on your goals in 2018.
And … because of this new format it will cost you a fraction of previous workshops held in Melbourne and still have the personal connection that made those workshops so special. Click here to find out more ...
I look forward to inspiring, empowering and educating you to achieve more of your goals in 2018.
PS If you haven’t had a look yet at my program Click here and find out more