Lisa McDonald

Empowering Women And Men To Get Unstuck, Walk Their Own Path, And Have A Great Life

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19/12/2018 by Lisa McDonald Leave a Comment

Come Back To The Heart of Christmas

Come Back To The Heart of ChristmasDuring the Christmas season it’s so easy to get caught up in the busyness of the season and to get distracted by issues, obligations and stories.  Today I’d like to encourage you to put aside the trappings and commercialism of the season for a moment, to come back to the heart of Christmas and to share your good will with others.

Connecting To The Heart of Christmas

Christmas is one of the most celebrated events around the world, and is a busy time for many people.  Too often though, people loose sight of the big picture.  Instead they get caught up in busyness, obligations and inflated expectations.  That’s why it can be really beneficial to stop for a moment and to reconnect with what’s important. 

Below are the lyrics and music video for Matthew West’s beautiful song, “The Heart of Christmas”.  Take a few moments now to watch and listen to the music video of Matthew West’s song, and to connect with the heart of Christmas for you.   Click here

Lyrics:

I’m going to make a wish this Christmas 
I’m going to say a little prayer
Im going to stop here for a moment
Before the moment disappears

The World’s in a hurry this December
The city street’s a shopping mall
I wish we could slow down and remember
the meaning of it all

Wherever you are no matter how far
Come back to the heart, the heart of Christmas
Live while you can, cherish the moment
The ones that you love, make sure that they know it
And don’t miss it, the heart of Christmas

Let’s make it feel the way it used to
Let’s find the wonder of a child
You can see the magic all around you
Come on and open up your eyes

Well you can find it in the warm embrace of your family
Or call up a long lost friend
You can even find it in the eyes of a stranger
When you reach out a helping hand

Wherever you are no matter how far
Come back to the heart, the heart of Christmas
Live while you can, cherish the moment
The ones that you love, make sure that they know it
And don’t miss it, the heart of Christmas

In this shadow of a feeling
It’s the star that lights the way
You will find you need an angel
The heart of Christmas has a way

I’m going to make a wish this Christmas
I’m going to say a little prayer

Wherever you are, not matter how far
Come back to the heart, the heart of Christmas
Live while you can, cherish the moment
The ones that you love, make sure they know it

Wherever you are, not matter how far
Come back to the heart, the heart of Christmas

Spreading Goodwill

Some people find Christmas a difficult time, and find it hard to be merry.   Take a few minutes now to consider someone who finds it hard to be merry, or is going through a tough time.  They may be someone you know well, an acquaintance or someone you’ve just come into contact with.  It  might even be you …

Here’s a way you can spread your own goodwill at Christmas:

  • Come back to your own heart
  • What loving goodwill message is within your heart
  • Picture  someone who find’s it hard to be merry;
  • In your mind, connect with them.
  • Send a prayer or wish to them, sharing your own heart felt message 

Remember spreading love and goodwill shouldn’t just be confined to social, cultural or religious celebrations.  So … connect with your heart … spread your love and goodwill  … all year round.

You can take steps today to connect with the heart of your Christmas.  Then, spread your goodwill with others.

Warm Regards

Lisa

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11/12/2018 by Lisa McDonald Leave a Comment

Christmas Stories – How Oprah’s Worst Christmas Became Her Best

Christmas Stories: How Oprah's Worst Christmas Became Her Best

Christmas is one of the most celebrated holidays in the world.  It can touch many people, from children through to adults, throughout the years.  Consequently it can be the source of many memories.  Each story of an event is affected by the way you see, think and feel about about what happened.  For some the memories are happy and positive, while  for others they are unpleasant or painful. 

Whatever you experience in life, you have  the ability to shape your own story.  In today’s post, I share Oprah Winfrey’s story about how her worst Christmas became her best.  And, some of the ways in which that story affected her.

Oprah’s Story

Christmas Stories: Oprah's Best and; Worst

It was Christmas Eve and Oprah was 12 years old.  Her mother took her aside and told her that they wouldn’t be having Christmas that year.  Oprah’s initial response was to asked about Santa. Her mother responded by telling her that there was not Santa.  There wasn’t going to be any gifts for her or her young sisters.

Her Worst Christmas Story

In truth, Oprah had already started to become aware that there was no Santa.  However, this was her first realisation that they were poor.  Her initial reaction was of guilt and shame.  Then, she began thinking about the story she would share with others.  Normally on Christmas morning all the kids would play out doors with their new toys, and show their neighbours what they had received.  Knowing that she wouldn’t have any new toys to show, Oprah considered whether she would hide out in their house or say she was sick the next morning.  It was going to be her worst Christmas ever.

A New Christmas Story

Late that night, some nuns came to the house with food, and toys for her and her young sisters.  Oprah was very touched and grateful – someone had noticed them!   Additionally, this wonderful act of kindness had gifted her with a new story to tell.  Oprah had recognised that it transformed her story, from her worst Christmas into her best .

The Power of Oprah’s Story

Oprah never forgot that earlier experience and how she felt.  Years later she was building a house which was not going to be ready for Christmas.  She asked herself, “what would be the next best way to spend Christmas?”  She reflected back on her childhood experience.  The answer that came to her was to give other children that same experience, of being noticed.  She decided to go to South Africa and to give food, clothes, toys, and soccer balls to some of the poorer villages.  Oprah re-framed her story, which enabled her to experience the joy of giving to these kids.

Your Christmas Stories

If your life has been touched by Christmas then it is likely that you have your own stories to share.  Aside from Christmas (which many people in the world don’t celebrate), your life has been impacted by many things.  Take a few minutes now to reflect on some of your best and worst stories from your life, and how they have impacted you.

Here are three powerful questions to ask yourself:

  1. What experiences you are grateful for?  
  2. Do you have any stories that you need to transform into more positive and empowering ones?  
  3. How could you share that same experience with someone else?

Empower Yourself And Others

As a 12 year old, Oprah had a powerful experience.  She could have chosen to focus on negative aspects of her story, or she could focus on the positive aspects of her story.  By choosing to focus on the positive, she got to feel grateful and empowered.  You have choices too.

Whether you celebrate Christmas or not, your experiences can be powerful.   Your stories of  these events are flavoured by how you think and feel.  Consequently your stories shape your life.  They also have a ripple effect, flowing on and impacting others.  Carrying around negative stories increases stress and conflict.  It also reduces your self-belief, drains your energy and keeps you stuck in the past.

Instead, learn how to re-frame your stories into more positive ones.  If you’re finding it difficult to re-frame your story, and would like some help, please click here to book in a free chat with me.

Remember, your stories and choices shape your life.  Just like Oprah Winfrey, you can re-frame your stories to support you and the life you want to live.

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02/10/2018 by Lisa McDonald

How Your Emotional Triggers Keep You Stuck

How Your Emotional Triggers Keep You Stuck

We all have emotional triggers where people, words, opinions, circumstances, or environmental situations hit a ‘raw nerve’ inside us.  It’s like someone pulled the rug out from under our feet, and it can make us feel sick in the pit of our stomach.  It provokes an intense and excessive emotional reaction within us.  Then, seconds later, there is a response.  For some there’s an outwardly noticeable response, while for others it’s an internally contained buried response.

Why do we get triggered?  What happens when we become emotionally triggered?  Why is it important to identify our emotional triggers?  How do they keep us stuck? Read on to find out.

How You Become Emotionally Triggered

The Situation

Virtually anything can be an emotional trigger.  You could be on your own or with a partner, family member, friend, colleague or other.  The trigger could start with a tone of voice, a type of person, a particular viewpoint, a single word, anything.

In any case, it arises when a situation occurs in the present which hits that ‘raw nerve’ – awakening the memory of a past experience.  It’s a source of emotional pain to us , because it is connected to a perceived inadequacy we have about ourselves.

The Reaction

These past memories bring up an emotional reaction, a feeling that ‘it’s happening again’ or ‘he’s doing it again’.  By reminding us of our past pain, it creates an associated emotional reaction within us.  Emotions commonly triggered include anger, rage, sadness, insecurity, rejection and fear.
Emotional triggers cause us to react, which we experience through the following ways:
  1. Body: Experiencing a fight, flight-or-freeze stress response (‘deer in the headlights’).  The body has a number of responses to this, some of which include changes such as:
    * Breathing – Shallow breathing, choking feeling or difficulty with breathing
    * Heart- rapid heartbeat, palpitations and chest pain.
    *  Stomach – churning and sick feeling in the stomach; nausea
    * Temperature changes – hot flushes; chills;
    * Other trembling – dizziness or faintness or sweating
    * Can also be a feeling of detachment/unreality (known as dissociation);
  2. Emotions: Experiencing intense feelings such as hatred, disgust, anger, fear, terror, or grief
  3. Mind:  Thoughts of woundedness,  a victim, deflecting by blaming and judging others.
  4. Actions:  Self-protective behaviour such as shutting down/withdrawing inside, shouting, arguing, insulting, belittling, defaming, sabotaging, assaulting, and even murdering or otherwise emotionally reacting.
  5. Results

The Response

Triggered responses can vary depending on the situation and person.  Some of the common responses include yelling, arguing or insulting. The person could respond by crying, shutting down/withdrawing or leaving.  They might become a people pleaser, become needy, or blaming.  Or, they may respond by turning to an addiction – such as food, drugs, alcohol, sex, porn, shopping, work gambling and so on.  Or any other behaviour which helps us to escape the pain.

Reasons For Emotional Triggers

Ultimately our emotional triggers come from our past experiences,  memories and emotions.  They are based on our perception of not having one or more of our deepest needs or desires met.  It may be an unmet need in the past, in the present or in the future.

Additional Causes:

  1. Traumatic experiences.  When a person has had a past traumatic experience (eg war, rape or violent attack), they can re-experience that event.  Just seeing, hearing, tasting, touching or smell something that reminds them of the previous trauma, can cause them to re-experience it.  The reaction is often extreme fear and panic (or in some cases, anger).
  2. Opposing beliefs and values.  They reflect what we hold as true and important in life.  They help us to feel safe and comfortable.   When we strongly identify with our beliefs and values, we may find it difficult to be tolerant when people disagree or challenge them.  Reason being that they are calling into question, the truth and legitimacy of what we hold dear
  3. Identity.  Our sense of self is composed of thoughts, memories, cultural values, assumptions and belief structures.   Its primary purpose is to protect us from facing what we fear most  – death of the self (as we know it).  It does this through developing elaborate “self-protection” mechanisms in the form of beliefs, ideals, desires, habits, and addictions.  Threats or challenges to our identity are likely to trigger emotions immediately.

The Importance of Identifying Emotional Triggers

If you want to create different results in your life, then it’s important that you consciously identify your emotional triggers. Otherwise, you’ll be constantly manipulated by your emotions. Furthermore, this underlying tension can drain your energy, trip you up, and strain relationships.  Alongside that, if you don’t address these emotional triggers, you will continue to repeat the same patterns.  You will continue to find yourself:

  • in triggering situations,
  • feeling the emotional reactions,
  • behaving in response
  • having the same results

Emotional triggers can interfere with your ability  to clarify your direction, make decisions and take action.   They disempower you and sabotage your success, blocking you as you try to make progress. Consequently, they affect your ability to achieve what’s important in your life.

If you are not achieving the results you want, then sit down and reflect.  Look for the patterns which are holding you back.  Similarly, consider how are those patterns being triggered?  Next, commit to getting them sorted out.  If you can’t identify or resolve the patterns and triggers yourself, or simply want to do it in a faster and more effective way, then I encourage you to seek out assistance.

Time to breakthrough your emotional triggers so you can achieve different results?  If so, it’s time to take action.  I have a proven step by step process for assisting people who are ready to breakthrough their emotionally triggered  patterns.   Simply click here to book a chat to find out how I can best assist you.

Ultimately, it’s up to you to create the life you desire – take at least one action step today towards achieving your important goals.

 

Warm regards

Lisa

 

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17/09/2018 by Lisa McDonald

Quote: The Greatest Obstacles To Inner Peace

Today’s quote comes from the Dalai Lama, a man committed to empowering himself and others to let go of emotions that disturb happiness …

Quote: The Greatest Obstacles to Inner Peace

Quote:

“As human beings we all want to be happy and free from misery
… we have learned that the key to happiness is inner peace.
The greatest obstacles to inner peace are disturbing emotions
such as anger, attachment, fear and suspicion,
while love and compassion and a sense of universal responsibility
are the sources of peace and happiness.”
—Dalai Lama

Emotional Obstacles

Take a moment to consider where are you experiencing emotional disturbances.  Where are they creating obstacles in your life?

I encourage you to use the Dali Lama’s wise words to inspire your next step towards removing these obstacles, so you can live a happier life.

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17/07/2018 by Lisa McDonald

Anthony Robbins: Getting Caught In A Mental Trap

Blog - Tony Robbins: Caught In a Metal Trap

Today’s wise words on getting caught in a mental trap comes from American Tony Robbins (born 1960).  Tony Robbins is an author, entrepreneur, philanthropist and life coach.  He has touched many people’s lives – including my own through his health, wealth and peak performance books and seminars.  He has also worked with many high profile people on an individual basis including:  Bill Clinton, Serena William, Nelson Mandela, Princess Diana and Hugh Jackman.  Read more about my story in a moment.

Here’s today’s wise quote from Tony Robbins;

“Often we are caught in a mental trap of seeing enormously successful people and thinking they are where they are because they have some special gift.  Yet a closer look shows that the greatest gift that extraordinarily successful people have over the average person is their ability to get themselves to take action.”
– Anthony Robbins.

The Mental Trap

My first experience with Tony Robbins was in about 2002.  It was at one of his seminars  when I attended his Unleash The Power Within.  At this event he coached thousands of ordinary people to walk across hot coals.  The purpose of the fire walk is for participants to experience a new level of what’s possible.  He  has been teaching since 1983.

In order to get people to do the fire walk he had to train them out of the mental traps.  Walking through hot goals is something that most people would perceive as life threatening, and would not even attempt.  The wrong mindset significantly increases the risk of burning your feet on the hot coals.  It also makes people quit and not even doing the activity.  The right mindset gets a person thinking and doing the right things to safely cross the hot coals.  So Tony had to prepare and train our minds away from mental traps which may prevent success. 

It was a powerful lesson.  Not everybody did the activity – but it certainly was an amazing experience for those of us that did the activity! It definitely showed what our mind is capable of when we focus our mind and take action (or avoid it).  When ordinary people get out of the mental trap they CAN achieve extraordinary things!

Breakthrough The Mental Traps

Whether your goal is to walk across hot coals or achieve some other important goal, it’s essential to break through any mental traps blocking you.  By doing so you’ll be better able to focus your mind and take actions.   Otherwise you’ll never achieve the goals and results you want to achieve.

For more information on some of the common blocks that you may need to breakthrough to achieve different results, visit my blog “3 Blocks That Sabotage Your Success And What To Do About It” .   You’ll learn – 3 ways you may be sabotaging your success, how these block keep you stuck and some exercises you can implement today to get unblocked.

Another way you can breakthrough is by working with a coach who can assist you with identifying where you’re getting stuck, creating a roadmap for breaking through, and supporting you to take the necessary actions to succeed   To see how I can help you click here to book a time with me and we’ll go over the options. 

Your Biggest Mental Trap

I’d love to hear  what your biggest mental trap is.  Please share your thoughts below or send me a message

With warm regards

Lisa

PS Remember -to take at least one action step today to progress your most important goals.

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