Empowerment Archives - Page 3 of 42

25/10/2018 by Lisa McDonald

Quote: Confusion Is A Word We Have Invented …

Today’s quote on confusion comes from American writer Henry Miller, (1891-1980). According to Wikipedia, Miller was known for “breaking with existing literary forms and developing a new type of semi-autobiographical novel that blended character study, social criticism, philosophical reflection, stream of consciousness, explicit language, sex, surrealist free association, and mysticism.”.

Here are Miller’s wise words:

Quote:

“Confusion is a word we have invented for an order which is not yet understood.” – Henry Miller

Confusion – Action Point

Take a moment now to consider where you are experiencing confusion in your life. It could be in relation to work or a personal issue. It could be related to an important decision you need to make. Or, it might relate to an important goal you are working towards. Then, consider how it is holding you back with your goals.

Next, apply Henry Miller’s wise words to the situation. Can you see that there is an order there.? If not, then focus your efforts on discovering the pathway to understanding where the order is. Continue with your efforts until you have clarity.

If you’re struggling with confusion, and want help to gain clarity, then consider contacting me to chat about how I can best help you. Click here to book a chat.

Stepping Towards Clarity

Take the next step forward by breaking through barrier to understanding today. Taking action towards clarity will support in achieving progress and succeeding with your goals.

02/10/2018 by Lisa McDonald

How Your Emotional Triggers Keep You Stuck

We all have emotional triggers where people, words, opinions, circumstances, or environmental situations hit a ‘raw nerve’ inside us. It’s like someone pulled the rug out from under our feet, and it can make us feel sick in the pit of our stomach. It provokes an intense and excessive emotional reaction within us. Then, seconds later, there is a response. For some there’s an outwardly noticeable response, while for others it’s an internally contained buried response.

Why do we get triggered? What happens when we become emotionally triggered? Why is it important to identify our emotional triggers? How do they keep us stuck? Read on to find out.

How You Become Emotionally Triggered

The Situation

Virtually anything can be an emotional trigger. You could be on your own or with a partner, family member, friend, colleague or other. The trigger could start with a tone of voice, a type of person, a particular viewpoint, a single word, anything.

In any case, it arises when a situation occurs in the present which hits that ‘raw nerve’ – awakening the memory of a past experience. It’s a source of emotional pain to us , because it is connected to a perceived inadequacy we have about ourselves.

The Reaction

These past memories bring up an emotional reaction, a feeling that ‘it’s happening again’ or ‘he’s doing it again’. By reminding us of our past pain, it creates an associated emotional reaction within us. Emotions commonly triggered include anger, rage, sadness, insecurity, rejection and fear.

Emotional triggers cause us to react, which we experience through the following ways:

Body: Experiencing a fight, flight-or-freeze stress response (‘deer in the headlights’). The body has a number of responses to this, some of which include changes such as:
* Breathing – Shallow breathing, choking feeling or difficulty with breathing
* Heart- rapid heartbeat, palpitations and chest pain.
* Stomach – churning and sick feeling in the stomach; nausea
* Temperature changes – hot flushes; chills;
* Other trembling – dizziness or faintness or sweating
* Can also be a feeling of detachment/unreality (known as dissociation);
Emotions: Experiencing intense feelings such as hatred, disgust, anger, fear, terror, or grief
Mind: Thoughts of woundedness, a victim, deflecting by blaming and judging others.
Actions: Self-protective behaviour such as shutting down/withdrawing inside, shouting, arguing, insulting, belittling, defaming, sabotaging, assaulting, and even murdering or otherwise emotionally reacting.
Results

The Response

Triggered responses can vary depending on the situation and person. Some of the common responses include yelling, arguing or insulting. The person could respond by crying, shutting down/withdrawing or leaving. They might become a people pleaser, become needy, or blaming. Or, they may respond by turning to an addiction – such as food, drugs, alcohol, sex, porn, shopping, work gambling and so on. Or any other behaviour which helps us to escape the pain.

Reasons For Emotional Triggers

Ultimately our emotional triggers come from our past experiences, memories and emotions. They are based on our perception of not having one or more of our deepest needs or desires met. It may be an unmet need in the past, in the present or in the future.

Additional Causes:

Traumatic experiences. When a person has had a past traumatic experience (eg war, rape or violent attack), they can re-experience that event. Just seeing, hearing, tasting, touching or smell something that reminds them of the previous trauma, can cause them to re-experience it. The reaction is often extreme fear and panic (or in some cases, anger).
Opposing beliefs and values. They reflect what we hold as true and important in life. They help us to feel safe and comfortable. When we strongly identify with our beliefs and values, we may find it difficult to be tolerant when people disagree or challenge them. Reason being that they are calling into question, the truth and legitimacy of what we hold dear
Identity. Our sense of self is composed of thoughts, memories, cultural values, assumptions and belief structures. Its primary purpose is to protect us from facing what we fear most – death of the self (as we know it). It does this through developing elaborate “self-protection” mechanisms in the form of beliefs, ideals, desires, habits, and addictions. Threats or challenges to our identity are likely to trigger emotions immediately.

The Importance of Identifying Emotional Triggers

If you want to create different results in your life, then it’s important that you consciously identify your emotional triggers. Otherwise, you’ll be constantly manipulated by your emotions. Furthermore, this underlying tension can drain your energy, trip you up, and strain relationships. Alongside that, if you don’t address these emotional triggers, you will continue to repeat the same patterns. You will continue to find yourself:

in triggering situations,
feeling the emotional reactions,
behaving in response
having the same results

Emotional triggers can interfere with your ability to clarify your direction, make decisions and take action. They disempower you and sabotage your success, blocking you as you try to make progress. Consequently, they affect your ability to achieve what’s important in your life.

If you are not achieving the results you want, then sit down and reflect. Look for the patterns which are holding you back. Similarly, consider how are those patterns being triggered? Next, commit to getting them sorted out. If you can’t identify or resolve the patterns and triggers yourself, or simply want to do it in a faster and more effective way, then I encourage you to seek out assistance.

Time to breakthrough your emotional triggers so you can achieve different results? If so, it’s time to take action. I have a proven step by step process for assisting people who are ready to breakthrough their emotionally triggered patterns. Simply click here to book a chat to find out how I can best assist you.

Ultimately, it’s up to you to create the life you desire – take at least one action step today towards achieving your important goals.

Warm regards

Lisa

17/09/2018 by Lisa McDonald

Quote: The Greatest Obstacles To Inner Peace

Today’s quote comes from the Dalai Lama, a man committed to empowering himself and others to let go of emotions that disturb happiness …

Quote:

“As human beings we all want to be happy and free from misery
… we have learned that the key to happiness is inner peace.
The greatest obstacles to inner peace are disturbing emotions
such as anger, attachment, fear and suspicion,
while love and compassion and a sense of universal responsibility
are the sources of peace and happiness.”
—Dalai Lama

Emotional Obstacles

Take a moment to consider where are you experiencing emotional disturbances. Where are they creating obstacles in your life?

I encourage you to use the Dali Lama’s wise words to inspire your next step towards removing these obstacles, so you can live a happier life.

25/08/2018 by Lisa McDonald

3 Blocks That Sabotage Your Success And What To Do About It

We all know that goal success does not come easy, especially if it’s a big goal. It takes more than just writing out a clear goal on a piece of paper. Instead, we have to work our way towards our goals. Along the way, there are a variety of things that block and hinder success. Today’s blog outlines three blockages that can sabotage success and five powerful ways I’ve found to overcome them.

Self Sabotage

How many times do you find yourself asking? “Why did I do that?” or Why did I say that?” You know you should have shown up for that job interview; it was your dream job, the job that you have been looking forward to for some time. Or you should have put your foot down and said no to that slice of chocolate cake as you were on a low-carb diet, but you didn’t. You know and are aware of what you should have done, but you didn’t do it and defied all logic and reason. But for some reason, you end up sabotaging yourself and doing the opposite. Why?

Self-sabotage is the process of going out of your way to prevent yourself from achieving your desired goal due to fear, lack of self-confidence,

[Read more…]

22/08/2018 by Lisa McDonald Leave a Comment

6 Ways To Overcome Indecision

I’m sure that you too have experienced times of indecision. Times where you’ve struggled to make a decision, whether that’s small things or big things. You may even be experiencing that somewhere in your life now. For example, should I look for another job or should I stay put? Should I have a baby or not? Should I spend my money on buying a property or not?

You’re not alone. Even great leaders, who are generally not rash or foolhardy, can experience indecision. On most days they know their mind and have the confidence to act on it. However even they experience times where they waver between two or more possible courses of action. When this happens, they too can freeze and start asking others what they should do.

What The Best Leaders and Achievers Do

The best leaders and achievers have an ability to get to the fundamental cause of their mental roadblock, and breakthrough it. That’s what you need to do too to achieve your important goals and dreams.

Your indecision may be a sign that the choice really matters to you. It might also be a warning that you’re about to make the wrong decision. Either way it gives you valuable time to gather more information, weigh up the facts and think about the situation.

However If you indecisive for too long, you may miss an opportunity. It can also cause you to loose confidence in yourself further, compounding the problem further.

5 Causes of Indecision

There are a variety of causes for why people become indecisive. Here are five of them:

Out of practice — where you haven’t been making many bigger decisions in your life.
Too many options can flood a person – overwhelm of your possible choices
Fear of making the wrong decision – concern that you will make a mistake or fail
Cognitive dissonance– conflict between their desires and those of the hand that fed/feeds them can lessen and cut them off from their desire
Lacking confidence – Self doubt in your ability causing second guessing

6 Ways To Overcome Indecision:

Whether your indecision is around a particular goal or has become a general habit, know that you can reduce your indecision with practice. Take a few minutes to read the list below for ways you can improve your decision making.

Look at the big picture. Consider the importance of the decision in the longer term. As you enter old age what would you regret most? To read about the Top 5 Regrets of the Dying, read my blog article:
Identify the fear of consequences. Ask yourself what’s the worst that could happen. Then, contemplate how you would address it if it happened. By figuring out concrete ways to deal with it if it came true, you can remove a lot of its power and control over your decision-making
Accept the limits of analysis. Don’t paralyse yourself with analysis. There comes a time when no matter how much logical thinking you do, or information you have, the decision isn’t going to get any easier. Give yourself a time limit on your research, list-making and pondering.
Tune into your emotions. Trust your gut. Ask yourself: “Which option feels more ‘right’ for you?”
Break the decision down into smaller pieces. Sometimes big decisions can become overwhelming. If that’s the case, practice making decisions on smaller pieces that are part of the bigger process
Eliminate should’s. Nothing leads to indecision faster than letting your actions be guided by the desire to impress or satisfy – what you think you should do for others. Inevitably that part of you wants something different will cause you to rebel. When you stop worrying about what everyone else will think, the best decision often becomes crystal clear.

Breaking The Hold Of Indecision

Combine the above actions with your own range of strengths as you work on breaking the hold of indecision. Using these will support your decision-making process, helping you make the choices that are right for you. And, assisting you to take the actions required to achieve your important goals.

If indecision has been holding you back in achieving one or more important goals, then it’s time to commit to tackling it. Please be kind to yourself in the process.

To support you in progressing and achieving your most important goals, take action today by implementing today’s tips.

Do you have a favourite tip for overcoming indecision? If so, please share it below.

Warm regards

Lisa